You hear it every January: New Year, New You. A phrase beloved by women’s magazines and the self-help industrial complex. This year, we’re saying ‘no, thanks,’ to this tired old tagline and embracing a gentler outlook. Introducing Favorite You, Not Perfect You, a week-long special to help you reset and refresh realistically. Maybe your best, most perfect self wakes up at sunrise, limits her social media habits and kicks caffeine. But your favorite you? She’s kind to herself, and celebrates the small wins. She’s going to have a great year—and maybe even make her bed every morning (or not!).
We’re nosey people (hey, at least we’re self-aware)—so any opportunity we get to ask you, our dear readers, about what’s on your mind, you know we’ll take it. A few weeks ago over on Instagram, you shared the best bits of life-changing advice you’ve ever received—and you dropped some truth bombs. Moral of the story: This probably won’t be the month you get a shorter work week, or reinvent yourself, or finally get along with a difficult colleague. But even when change feels impossible, it’s inevitable, and you can take control with these nuggets of wisdom from YOU.
On self love
While you’re kind to everyone else in the world; be kind to yourself too. Charity begins at home.
Put yourself first! It has nothing to do with being selfish but everything to do with honoring your goals, your aspirations, your desires.
Speak to yourself how you would speak to a friend, and have the same amount of patience and forgiveness for yourself too.
Learn to recognize the behaviors that come from insecurities. Those well-dressed, well-spoken people that intimidate you? Look again. At some point, you may have bosses that are scared of what you know. If you don’t figure this out, people will make you miserable, hold you back, and you won’t understand it in order to change.
Your BMI doesn’t define your worth.
Stop taking things so personally! Majority of the time, what people say is a reflection of how they feel about themselves and has nothing to do with you!
Take care of yourself more. Take care of yourself so you can take care of everything else you want to take care of.
Don’t worry about what others think. Literally no one notices anything. People are too consumed with worrying about and thinking about themselves and how they are perceived to notice that you wore that same shirt two days ago or whatever other thing you are worried about. And if they did notice? How sad for them that they don’t have better things to think about?! Just do you.
Not every thought you have is true. Magic happens when you learn to question the validity of your thoughts and let go of those which do not serve you.
On setting boundaries
“No” is a full sentence and can be used in any situation, including work.
Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice.
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to—seriously, you create your own reality. Establish boundaries with people, work, and do more of the things you love.
When you say “yes” to things you love, observe your body. Do things that make your body feel this way and say “no” to the things that don’t.
Sometimes you can love someone and want the best for them but still not need/want that toxicity in your life and it’s okay to set those boundaries you need.
On letting go
Life is way too short to leave the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.
It’s okay to have absolutely no idea what you’re doing and try to do it anyway. Don’t let the fear of failure halt your progress. You’ll learn even more than you can imagine even if it’s not perfect!
It takes time to achieve things and not every day will be significantly productive or show changes/ progress. What matters is that you keep going.
Life is like an elevator. You gotta let some people off as you go up.
If you won’t remember it or it won’t affect you or those you love in five years, it’s not really that important. #bigpicture
On asking for more
You should never count on an opportunity to fall into your lap. Create your opportunity, don’t wait for it.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, there will always be someone there who wants to give it.
Asking questions is a sign you want to learn and improve, so ask and do not apologize for asking.