I believe in “taking up space.” But just like the phrases “self-love”and “body positivity,”this idea triggers a small voice in the back of my mind that says “ugh” every time I hear or read about it. And since self-love and self-care are a big part of my mission, just putting that in writing is terrifying.
Why? Because we’re not supposed to feel “ugh” about concepts so crucial to our existence—and resistance. We’re supposed to love ourselves first and most, unconditionally. To fail to do that is to fail at feminism. At least that’s what the voice inside me whispers right after it utters that “ugh.”
“Try not to think of the self love club as the high school cool crowd.”
Whichcouldeasily leave me in a cycle of doubt, fear, and self-flagellation.
But I’d much prefer to make peace with the fact that we all have good and bad days. Not everyonewantsto take up space, but it’s the taking it when you do want it that makes a person whole.
So if you’re in a not-so-self-loving place,try not to think of the self love club as the high school cool crowd (“you can’t sit with us unless you love your body this much” *points to naked selfie.*) Instead, know that they’re on a journey just like you. Sometimes your journey will see you posting intimate photos of yourself and taking up space online via the#sensualselfiechallenge(shout out to Ev’Yan Whitney). But other times, it’ll see you contract, going inward to rest and gather strength.
When I came across the #sensualselfiechallenge, my brain was like “Oh, cute! You should. No, don’t. It’s fun. I’m shy. Why not? What’s the point? Self-surveillance. Just support it. What would say? Who cares? Why should I make myself so vulnerable? Why not?”
It’s the “why not?” that I landed on. Because whether or not you’re in the head space towantto take up more space online, there’s no good reason for you to doubt your ability to. But doubt you will, anyway. Reading this won’t help. But casting my own little evil doubt voice aside, my question to you is simple: Why not?
