Chief communications officer of The Kabbalah Centre and the author of Fear is Not an Option,Monica Berg writes that her daughters, Miriam and Abigail, have taught her so much about what it means to be fearless. Her wish for them is to know their own fearlessness, and live their lives to the fullest. Pass this advice on to the women you love.
Your body is part of your expression
You are physically strong. Use your body, your strong legs, your graceful hands, your sassy hips. Remain fearless in your body and don’t ever allow yourself to hate any part. Your body is perfect and strong.
Never be ashamed of your passions
Follow your bliss. Do what speaks to you, read about what interests you, be friends with the people you like, and don’t let others’ opinions about what you love embarrass you. Never give up on who you are or what you believe in for someone else. You are 100% worthwhile and whole, just as you are.
As Epicurus stated, “Of all the things that wisdom provides for living one’s entire life in happiness, the greatest by far, is the possession of friendship.” Always be open to making new friends. Old friends who are true are not going to be alienated by new friends. Not every friend will stay in your life forever, and that’s okay.
Some friends come to us at particular times of life and then go when that time period is over. While it hurts to lose a friend, it should never keep you from being open and sharing yourself with new people. Remember, everyone in your life started out as a stranger.
Talk to me, even if we disagree
You can always tell me what you are feeling or thinking, even if you know I will disagree. It’s okay to disagree with me. I want you to feel safe to express any emotion, and share any scenario with me. Know that I love you unconditionally and there is nothing you could ever do or say that will make me stop loving you.
You have a unique voice and I always want to hear it. I learn from you all the time and I don’t want to miss any of the lessons you have to teach me.
You are beautiful
I know I’m your mom and you sense bias, but it’s the truth. In your face I see the baby you were, the beautiful girl you are today, and the woman you will one day become. Know your worth and your value.
Don’t waste years of your life trying to convince yourself that you are beautiful and powerful and special. You are. Don’t waste your time feeling less-than. You are more than enough and you will accomplish great things.
You are your own person
You and I have many things in common, but you aren’t me. You are not destined to live the life I have or experience the same challenges. Your path is your own and I want very much to help guide you where your unique spirit needs to take you.
It’s them, not you
Nearly every time someone hurts you, lashes out, or says something that makes you feel insecure or unworthy, it’s a manifestation of their own pain. It has very little to do with you, other than you happened to be in their proximity. Everyone is fighting their own battles and conflicts will arise.
People will be hurtful or nasty and yes, it will hurt. Just remember, it’s really not about you, it’s about them. While you can learn something from the experience you do not need to accept their judgments as facts.