Saboteurs at work holding you back? Or maybe a perpetually drained bank account is making saving feel hopeless? We’ve got you.
That’s right, the latest “Ask Sophia” advice column has landed. This month, the founder and CEO of the media company whose product you’re currently consuming, offers her insights on dealing with (and disarming) shady coworkers, and saving money when you really, really love online shopping and eating out.
Not only that, but she tackles the question of our generation: Everything’s going great, so why do I feel like I’m drowning? Read on, to see the questions you guys submitted this month, and remember to ask Sophia your own burning questions RIGHT HERE.
Work
Sophia, my Kween. How do I keep my cool when a coworker is throwing verbal and non-verbal shade, to sabotage my work efforts? Avoiding her doesn’t seem to be helping. I’m not confrontational and that is not professional anyway. Thanks!
— Heiding N.A. Corner
First, know that it’s not personal. This girl is not happy with herself, and her behavior says more about her than you. But it sounds like you know that, which is awesome. I would let it roll off you like Rain-X.
If it’s bothering you way too much, I’d set a 1-1 meeting with her and describe very calmly that it seems that there may be an issue, that you are on the same team, and that you want to work well together.
Ask “how can I help?” and “how can I be a better partner to you?” and she’ll be so disarmed, you’ll have her crying “uncle!” without even lifting a finger.
Life
How do you plan for the future while also being present (and happy) in your day-to-day life? I’m 22 and I feel like I’m drowning. I have a great job, a great boyfriend, I’m making friends, and my parents are kindly supporting me by letting me live at home.
But I can’t stop my mind from racing through big questions like, “Is he The One?” “Will I make enough money to live the lifestyle I want while pursuing my passion?” Pls halp.
— Budding Girlboss
I’ve been struggling with this one since the day I was born and still ask these questions daily. It means you’re ambitious and have high standards. Let that ambition drive you. Let those standards rise as you rise, while taking stock in everything you have to be grateful for. But here’s the truth: You won’t always make the money for the lifestyle, and have the passion at the same time. But if the overarching work you are doing is something you are passionate about, you’ll be able to tolerate the parts of your job that don’t feel like they contribute to your passion.
For example, I read ads about dog collars on Girlboss Radio. Also, the opposite is true: If the overarching work you are doing isn’t your passion, you can find so much reward in the details of your work. Ultimately, as Rainer Maria Rilke says, you must live the questions themselves:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
I guess what I mean to say, is this: If you’re smart, you’ll count your blessings and realize that life will always be uncertain. Stay curious, my young Girlboss!
Money
I’ve never been able to save money. Between a demanding job and active social life, money seems to slip out of my fingers, and honestly, I feel like I have to constantly buy stuff in order to maintain a certain professional “look” and lifestyle. How can I get more thrifty, without becoming a hermit?
— Uber Shopper
Fuck appearances! Fuck it all to hell! Speaking of getting thrifty, you can find great stuff at literal thrift stores. Hey, I built a career on it! Find more inexpensive ways to keep up your social life.
Go for a hike, get a coffee. Get lunch instead of dinner. Find a great happy hour and demand you meet there instead. I have tons of friends who still say, “Hey Sophia, your restaurant suggestion is out of my price range, can we try someplace else?”
If you’re not saving yet, start now. Put away 10 percent of your income into a savings account and leave it. Let it grow. You won’t even know it’s missing, I promise. Pay your parking tickets on time. Get fewer haircuts. Get the vintage version of the designer item. Shop at Zara. Get a roommate! Just don’t date for money. Wishing you all the best, young Frugal.
