Think This, Not That: 4 Affirmations to Tell Yourself After Getting Laid Off

From tech world mass-firings to that friend getting real in your LinkedIn feed, it feels like everyone is getting laid off lately. And it’s rough. Finding out that you no longer have a job is kind of like going through a breakup. Even if you saw it coming, the sudden change in routine, the confusion and sense of rejection can wreck your self-esteem and send you into a stress-filled spiral of self doubt. But it can also be a transformative time that pushes you to try something new or make a radical change. This week on Girlboss, we’re talking all about getting laid off—and how to bounce back.

“I could have avoided this.” “I should have stayed later and come in earlier.” “I’m never going to find a job like this again.” “I am dispensable.” These are just some of the things you’ve probably told yourself after being laid off. You automatically blame yourself for a situation that is a company-wide problem, and unfortunately, entirely out of your hands.

That’s why our dear friend (and manifestation pro) Roxie Nafousi is here to help you get over your negative self-talk funk. In case you don’t know who Nafousi is (how?), she’s the author of the Sunday Times best-selling book, Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life (which Bella Hadid has been spotted reading, nbd), and has hosted manifesting workshops for over 600 people, including celebrities like Australian model Shanina Shaik and British singer Frankie Bridge. She also taught us the manifesting basics earlier this year.

“I think what is integral when we find ourselves in a situation where we have been laid off, is to offer ourselves compassion, kindness and non-judgment,” says Nafousi. “We must be really careful not to blame ourselves or be cruel in the way we speak to ourselves. Of course, we can look at what lessons we have learnt through the experience and consider what we might do differently going forward, or in the next job, but we should do that from a loving place and not from a punitive one. When the negative thoughts come in, it helps to repeat a mantra to replace the thought."

Here, Nafousi shares some common phrases we might tell ourselves, and what to say instead. Write them on your bathroom mirror, in your journal or say them out loud—whatever you need to do to start believing them.

Negative thought: “I could have avoided this.”
Positive thought: “I trust that I did whatever I thought was right at the time.”

Negative thought: “I should have stayed later and come in earlier. I should have worked harder. I should have done more.”
Positive thought: “I did my best and that is enough.”

Negative thought: “I am dispensable.”
Positive thought: “I have so much to offer and I am so proud of the person that I am.”

Negative thought: “I'm never going to find a job like this again.”
Positive thought: “I trust everything is unfolding the way it is supposed to and I am going to find the perfect job for me.”

(Gentle reminder: There is a job out there that will value and appreciate all of your unique qualities—you just have to find the right fit. It’s like dating!)

Oh, and there’s one more piece of advice from the manifestation queen: “Trust the universe. We need to embrace this trust; that everything is happening for a reason, and that something better is on the way. See it as a redirection, and an opportunity for change and growth.”

Mantras and manifesting can only get you so far. If you’re struggling with your mental health after getting laid off, then you should seek professional support.