It’s at once frustrating and thrilling to realize how little we know about female ejaculation. Broadly defined as the involuntary gushing of fluid during orgasm, “squirting” can mean many things to different people with different bodies.
While scientists have long obsessed over eternal questions like “what is squirting?” and “is it pee or not-pee?,” everyday women’s concerns are more practical in nature.
What is it? How do I do it? How do I not do it? How does it feel? All valid questions with one thing in common—we’re not taught this shit. Let’s change that.
Back in 4th century China, the stuff women excreted during orgasm was thought to have mystical properties. Elsewhere, Aristotle was into talking about “female sperm” and the Kama Sutra was all over the same concept. But no one really bothered to study it properly until the 1900s.
First, it was psychologist Havelock Ellis who thought the fluid was analogous to semen and then (ahem, 50 years later) it was Ernest Gräfenberg who saw a connection between the secretion and a “palpation” of a certain erogenous zone also known as the G-spot.
A 1982 study backed up the work of Gräfenberg, positing that the fluid was produced in the Skene’s gland and was not urine. But the plot thickened in 2014 when a new group of researchers sought to figure out once and for all why some women reported small amounts of fluid when squirting and others described it as more like a large cup-full.
Through ultrasound and biochemical analysis, the truth as we know it today emerged. The fluid that comes out when you squirtis pee, and is also not pee. Or, not pee as we know it. Along with urine, in most cases the fluid studied was found to also contain prostate-specific androgen (female ejaculate proper) secreted through the Skene’s gland.
Your take-away? Pee, ejaculation, or something else; it’s an expression of intense arousal and whether accompanied by an orgasm or not, it’s all good if you’re having fun. The easiest way to have fun? Forget about staying clean and composed. Make a mess.
Yes, it’s comprised of pee under a microscope, but it’s clear and scentless. More water than wee-like. And if it turns you on, who cares what it is?
How to do it
Firstly, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to do it. There’s nothing wrong with your body if you don’t squirt. Maybe you’ve just had reassignment surgery or are just getting to know your sexuality, or maybe you’re one of the 40 to 94 percent of women (depending on what study you’ve read!) who just can’t. Either way, there’s no correlation between the ability to ejaculate and the amount of pleasure your body’s capable of, so don’t stress.
For most people, rubbing the area known as the G-spot (the place where an internal section of the clitoris can be stimulated) potentially leads to squirting. This is because the Skene’s gland is located near or directly on the G-spot, on the back wall of the vagina near the lower part of the urethra.
Give it some attention (think a “massage” amount of pressure) and see what happens. But as female ejaculation educator Deborah Sundahl says, “the placement of the Skene’s gland and ability to produce prostate fluid…varies from woman to woman.”
Don’t neglect your clitoris or other hot zones on a mission to stimulate the G-spot, though. This isn’t a solo, it’s a symphony. And remember, like everything, you need to stay with it. Some people have the tendency to halt all sexual activity as soon as they orgasm or even before they’re about to—feeling like they “need to pee” and ceasing stimulation.
This is because, as sex coach Sean Jameson explains, your Skene’s gland is located close to your bladder and the pressure feels the same. Additionally when you ejaculate, the fluid passes through part of your urethra. This is the same tube that carries your urine. Hence the results of the aforementioned study.
“Forget your inhibitions and use your kegel muscles to bear down.”
Want to try it? Just keep on pleasuring yourself through these “need to pee” moments. Forget your inhibitions and use your kegel muscles to bear down. If you’re concerned about the amount of fluid you’ll produce, try it in the bathroom or just grab a towel. Not only will you be letting yourself experience a longer and therefore possibly more intense orgasm, you’ll also be witness to a warm, effusive flow that tastes (we repeat, nothing like pee) and feels great.
While you may want to warn sexual partners that you’re into this (or just curious), if only to avoid the shocked look on the face of a less experienced partner—female ejaculation is generally as much of a turn on for the giver as it is for the receiver.
And judging by the amount of “how to make your partner/yourself squirt” articles out there, the more we educate ourselves, the wilder the time for everyone involved.
We acknowledge the cissexist nature of the research and language around squirting and have tried to avoid this where possible, while also respecting the rights of trans people to own their dialogue around squirting, rather than speaking on their behalf.
This article was originally published on Par Femme.